Laughter filled my ears as I stumbled among the roots. Stop. Please stop. I’ve heard enough. I forced the throbbing feeling of my feet to the back of my mind while I continued to surge forward with what energy I have left. As I kept running and running, the laughter was all I could hear. Everything went black as I felt the scratches form across my face. I don’t need to hear what you have to say. I already know. Please, someone. Make all of it stop! With a grunt, I pulled my aching legs to my chest as I tasted salt on my lips and eyes burning. No more. Please no more.
The laughter, though still audible, was becoming more and more distant as I strained my ears for what has eased the haunting sounds. Slowly, the new sounds pushed the rest of my tension away as a calmness settled in. Whispers in my ears along with crashes on rocks coaxed my eyes open to find what had soothed me. When I opened my eyes, I had a sense of safety and was overwhelmed with the feeling of being embraced.
Squinting slightly as my vision was filled, my eyes adjusted to the new warmth. Once my sight had cleared, white fluff was all I could see. A little white face with red eyes, whiskers, and large ears titled its head at me. Blinking a few times, the little white furball bounded away to show an opening among the endless trees. Slowly, I gradually forced my body to move itself into a sitting position with every ounce of energy I could muster. I sat there for a few minutes to catch my breath before I attempted the hardest part. Once again, I continued to move my aching body and finally managed to stand up while leaning on a tree for support. Knowing that I needed to move, I took shaky steps forward, one after another until I was at the last tree to where the opening begins.
Before me is a drop-off leading to the water below. So this is what I heard. With caution, I continued forward as not to trip. Once I reached the edge, I could clearly see the sparkling blue water of the ocean. Below, I could hear the crashing of the waves that had soothed me. Falling backwards onto my behind, my legs dangled over the edge while closing my eyes for the sound to comfort me once more. This became my sanctuary, the one place I would go everyday for the past ten years after I discovered it. Being a child and finding it, and going to the same place full of safety and comfort stays with me as I continued to mature. As the years have gone by, I started to think of how I felt living where I did now.
I thought about my childhood, what it was like before I found the cliff, after I found it, and how it has helped me. As a child, I didn’t have any friends. I tried to talk to the other children my age, but none of them ever tried to approach me. Whether it was in class, during lunch, or after school ended - no matter how hard I tried, they wouldn’t give me the time of day. I became the loner and it stuck over the years.
As middle school came around, I stopped trying. They made it clear that I wasn’t welcome into their friend groups. I was simply the outcast that they had to work with once in a while in class. I was the girl that was quiet and kept to myself. The whispers began around this time as well. I never cared for them though because it wasn’t like it would affect me having any friends when no one wanted to even approach me.
It was these past four years of high school that I was beginning to clearly see that I was trapped in this part of my life. The way I was being treated by my fellow peers, the way my parents continued to ignore me and brush me off, the way no one cared what I did. Everything they did was like another wall that was put up around my life to keep me from going anywhere. I don’t want to be trapped, I want to explore, I want adventure, to experience the unknown factor of life. I know I’m not going to get that if I stay here, in this town where no one cares.
Every time that I come to this cliff, the ocean keeps reminding me of what’s out there. Squawking sounds above me as a flock of seagulls fly out over the expanse of the ocean. I’m envious of how free everything in the wilderness seems to be. Animals can roam around and do whatever they want, when they want. The ocean itself is wild and unpredictable, yet beautiful and powerful. I wish for something like that freedom. I drift off into a fantasy world where I was free, where I wasn’t stuck in this town, where I was encouraged to pursue what I want and was helped instead of ignored.
If I were to stay, I would continue to be the loner of the town. The person everyone ignored and talked about behind their back. I would be the nobody of the town with no significance to the people or her parents. I want to create my own path, to struggle with my own problems that will eventually lead to the success that I fought for.
But there is always that voice in my head; the crashing of the waves never make go away entirely. What are you thinking, leaving this town? It would always say to me. Where would you be without your parents? Who do you owe for putting a house over your head and giving you food to eat? It was always these points that kept me from leaving this dreaded place. What makes you think you have what it takes to leave? What makes you think that you can actually follow your dreams and be successful? Little to none. Once again, the voice made a valid point. If I haven’t left yet, what makes me think that I will ever be able to leave? Sighing, I stand up and longingly look out over the ocean. This is it. When I leave here, I won’t be coming back to this place. I won’t ever leave and will stay. I turn around and begin to make my way to the path that I will always remember. The one that I will miss the most.
But don’t you want to take that risk? Don’t you want to show everyone that they were wrong about you? Don’t you want to follow the dreams that you were denied all these years? Is it really worth being caged in this town for the rest of your life? This was a new voice that I never heard before. It was quiet and reserved, yet powerful and full of questions of what’s to come. Do I really want to stay here forever? Am I really ready to give up on my dreams? All you need to do is take a leap of faith. My body stopped moving, frozen as a statue as I let that sink in. All I need to do is take a leap of faith, to take a chance and break the chains holding me back.
I knew in every essence of my body that I wanted to jump, I wanted to let everything go and travel into the unknown that was shown in front of me. The world spun around me as I was once again facing the ocean. Stumbling into a run, I knew what I was going to do. I knew what I wanted and I was going to take that risk. I sprinted as fast as my body would allow, taking one last step on the cliff edge; I broke my chains and took the leap of faith.
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